If you’re anything like me, the decision to share something you’ve written is so hard. Its like sharing a piece of yourself with everyone and no one and sometimes, it falls flat. Other times, it brings you joy to have shared. You think “Will it seem silly or stupid?”, “Am I sharing too much?”, “Have I really thought this through?” and then you proceed to think it through and that turns somehow into never sharing because taking risks and putting yourself out there really isn’t your forte.
But then writing and never sharing seems cowardly too. Having been such a coward for so long, I have to make a conscious effort to step out of my comfort zone.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
The Bible says in Proverbs 14:4 that
“Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest?” [NLT]
“Where no oxen are, the crib is clean: but much increase is by the strength of the ox”[KJV]
So, sometimes you have to ask yourself, as I have, what do you want?
A clean stable? – No criticisms, no mistakes or increase and growth?
The choice is yours.
Since life is putting me on a writing hiatus, I decided to share something already written a while ago.
So what if I will always remember you
Maybe even always love you
But I’ll love me more
I’ll cherish myself enough to stop
I’ll take a deep breath and finally step back
I will stop hoping
I’ll stop seeing and thinking
I will only know me and what I need
I’ll learn new things
Starting with being selfish
I’ll think of me first
Consider my own feelings
My own emotions
Put them before yours
Maybe you’ll always matter
I damn well hope not
Maybe I’ll always love you
But I’ll fight it so I don’t
But one thing will always be true
I’ll always love me
I will finally learn
I come first.